Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
