so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
