fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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