the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
