She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
