It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
