Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
