The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
