woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
