Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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