when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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