Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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