dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
