I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
