lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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