He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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