i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
