i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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