To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
