exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
