their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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