his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
