i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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