So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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