fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
