Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We got so high we made milksteak
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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