Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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