I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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