He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
