my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize