tonight lets celebrate not being married
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
