I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
