maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
