I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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