Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
