There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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