Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
