Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
