I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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