My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
