He is an equal opportunity slut.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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