How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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