I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
