you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
