what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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