too bad you live with your parents still
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
