My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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