Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
