My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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