Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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