fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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