Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
