So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize