Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
