nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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