Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
