You're completely useless in the revolution.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
