The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
