I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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