I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
