see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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