oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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