At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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