Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
