They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
