i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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