I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
