Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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